How he broke her Heart again Picking up the Shards
by Nymphadorable
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks returns home. But instead of finding her husband waiting for her, she finds a letter.  A letter that turns her day black as night.
1. Prologue

Just to clear some confusion: This story is titled 'How he broke her Heart again'  another title I liked was 'Picking up the Shards'  So I called it both.  
>This is my very first piece of fan-fic ever, so please do me a huge favor and review! Constructive Criticism is more than welcome!<br>But please be gentle about stuff like punctuation or grammar. English isn't my native-tongue ;)

Now, that's all. Enjoy!

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

With a small pop I appeared on the doorsteps. Raising my head a little, I looked up to the house I've lived in for the last six weeks. I love this house. I love everything about it. The front garden, the view, the big oak tree next to it… But more than the exterior I love everything that awaits me inside it: a fire, my favourite armchair, a steaming cup of hot chocolate and, most importantly, the arms of the love of my live.  
>A smile spread across my face, something that can't be seen often lately. Nobody smiles much these days.<br>In the past few weeks we lost so much. First Dumbledore died, at this thought I got a lump in my throat, then Mad-Eye… The lump got bigger. Capable witches and wizards all around us die, go missing or go into hiding. It's horrible.

But nevertheless there were two things that keep me going. One of them was the man inside this house, waiting for me to return. The other thing was the baby inside my belly. No, not THE baby, MY baby… Remus' baby. At that thought my smile spread even wider. OUR baby: a little of me and hopefully a lot of him.  
>'I hope he or she will look exactly like Remus, but have my ability. That'd be wicked!' I thought to myself while opening the front door with a series of taps with my wand.<p>

I stepped into the dark hallway. With a wave of my wand the door closed and locked itself. Another wave and the lights went on.  
>I hung up my coat, still deep in thoughts about my parents. They're not exactly the youngest and the Cruciatus Curse left some marks. But they're better now.<br>It's been a week since Bill and Fleurs wedding. A week since Rufus Scrimgeour died, since the Ministry fell into his hands, since the Death Eaters broke into every safe-house of the Order.  
>Luckily nobody died. My parents got off worst, of course they did. The Death Eaters knew that the real Harry had been hiding there… But we all knew what we'd signed up for.<p>

Sighing I stuck my head through the living-room-door, expecting to see Remus sleeping on the couch. I'd been out longer than I had thought. But he wasn't there.  
>Frowning I made my way through the house. Checking our bedroom, his study, the cellar, but no Remus anywhere…<br>I counted the days. No, it wasn't full moon, not for another 2 weeks, so that's not why he was out, but why then?  
>I shivered. Oh how I hated the cold! I decided to get a cup of chocolate before continuing my search.<br>Grumbling to myself I made my way to the kitchen, stumbled on the last step, banged my head on the door and cursed some more.

I opened the kitchen door and the smell of hot chocolate met me. I looked up, still rubbing my forehead. There, on the table stood my special mug, the pink and brown one. It was filled with hot chocolate, topped with whipped cream, a Marshmallow and Chocolate sprinkles, just the way I loved it. Oh, my husband (I still get a shiver of happiness at that word) knows me well! I picked up the cup, it was still hot, Remus must've enchanted it to stay that way… Oh I love him so much!

I took a sip, when I suddenly noticed the envelope that had appeared at the cups place. Slowly I put down my chocolate and picked the letter up. It was very thick and heavy, brown parchment, addressed in Remus' hand in pink ink.  
>I frowned slightly. It wasn't addressed to "Mrs. Lupin" like the letters I had gotten from Remus previously, but to "Nymphadora Tonks".<br>My frown deepened, I opened the letter and pulled out several pages of parchment.

They were written in Remus' hand in the same ink. I started to read.

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><p>This is my first piece of fan-fiction. Please tell me your opinion. I'm happy about any kind of review! Thank you for using your valuable time to read this!<p>

Long live Magic!


	2. The letter Part 1

_Dear Dora,_

_Those past few weeks have, truly, been the best I've ever had. I am so happy to have found you, so happy you chose me of all people. _

_You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I remember well, when we first met. I was sitting in that dark kitchen at Grimmauldplace, planning with Sirius and Arthur, when suddenly the door opened. Alastor came in and announced that he had succeeded in recruiting yet another Auror. Great news at that time, we were outnumbered one to three by the Death Eaters. Another capable wizard couldn't hurt.  
><em>_I don't know what the other two were expecting, but I certainly was surprised to see a young, widely grinning, blonde haired witch stumble into the kitchen. I remember that I smiled, when you missed the small step outside the door and nearly fell. It had happened to me too when I came there the first time, I could relate.  
><em>_You cursed under your breath and straightened up, blushing you looked around, uncertain what to do next.  
><em>_Moody started to introduce you, but he didn't even get the chance to say "Nymph-…" when you turned furiously on him, your hair suddenly turning a vivid Weasley-red and snarled "Do__** not**__ call me Nymphadora!" Then you faced us and said "I'm Tonks" and sat down. Just like that, like we've known you for ages.  
><em>

_I liked you from the start. While Arthur, Sirius and Moody were filling you in on the plans and everything we've accomplished so far, I was still staring at you. Your hair started to turn blonde at the ends again. I watched fascinated, I'd never seen a Metamorphmagus before. But apart from admiring your ability I also appreciated the fact that you'd brought some colour into the gloomy room, finally a distraction from all the darkness, a reason to smile._

_When we stopped planning for that night, because Molly came in and announced it was time for dinner, you immediately sprang up, eager to help.  
><em>_I smiled some more when you started to set the table and knocked over the Juice-Jug. You wouldn't stop apologising, even though I assured you no harm was done. I thought your clumsiness was adorable, rather than embarrassing.  
><em>_You grinned at me, looking up with those dark, twinkling eyes. And at that moment I knew, I knew you were the person that would always make me smile. I knew you were the person that would always make me feel better. I knew it.  
><em>_But I also knew I couldn't be with you. At that moment I felt something break inside me. It was the first time I fully understood the range of my condition. Discrimination and distrust I could handle. But this feeling, this knowledge, that I could not be with you was nearly too much. I tried to avoid making eye contact with you again that evening. I didn't think I could stand it._

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><p>This is my first piece of fan-fiction. Please tell me your opinion. I'm happy about any kind of review! Thank you for using your valuable time to read this!<br>Long live Magic!


	3. The letter Part 2

_Those next few months were hard on me. I tried to hide my feelings. I tried not to let you know. I didn't want to give you false hope. I noticed both Molly and Sirius throwing glances at me and then at you, I knew I wasn't doing a good job.  
><em>_But I noticed something else too. You were behaving differently suddenly. You tried to catch my eye constantly, that beautiful smile always stretching across your face as soon as I entered the room.  
><em>_I realised you felt the same way about me as I did about you. My doubts started to waver; suddenly hope grew inside my heart.  
><em>

_Then, of course, there was this one day, shortly after Christmas. I'm sure you remember it just as well. The kids had just left for school; Sirius was with Buckbeak. We were practically alone.  
><em>_I left the kitchen to get a book from my room, you came downstairs. We met on the narrow staircase. You squeezed by. Your dark, short hair smelled like the snow outside. Our eyes met. For once you weren't smiling, but looking up at me with firm determination visible in your eyes.  
><em>_My resistance crumbled, I leaned down, wanting to kiss you, but I didn't need to. You had already stretched up onto your toes. Time seemed to have stopped the moment your lips met mine. All thoughts had left my mind and I was floating in a sphere of pure happiness.  
><em>_You let go of me again, too soon in my opinion. There was a faint blush on your cheeks again; your hair had turned a bright pink and was falling down to your shoulders now. You whispered 'Happy New Year, Remus' and sprinted out the door without looking at me.  
><em>

_I stood there, on that dark, dusty staircase for several minutes, not able to move, all dark thoughts erased from my mind._

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><p>Really short chapter, sorry about that, but review nevertheless! Thank you!<p> 


	4. The letter Part 3

_We didn't see each other private for a while after that.  
><em>_An Order meeting here, a dinner with Sirius and Alastor there… no chance to discuss what had happened…  
><em>_Time went by and we still hadn't made progress, hadn't had a chance to talk._

___The summer came and we rushed to the Ministry to save Harry and his friends. __That day my best friend died, of course the thought hurt, but I was too worried about you, to think about it.  
><em>_You'd been hit pretty badly and Dumbledore had you transferred to St. Mungos.  
><em>_I came to see you twice. The first time you were asleep. I decided not to wake you. I simply sat next to you, holding your hand for several hours. Seeing you laying there in the Hospital, your hair a mousey brown, was horrible for me. I didn't want to see you hurt or endangered ever again.  
><em>_But with the latest full moon came my transformation and along came all the reasons I shouldn't be with you, back into my head. I meant danger._

_The second time I came to visit, you were sitting in your bed, turquoise streaks in your black hair, reading _the Prophet_.  
><em>_I wanted to tell you how worried I was… How I couldn't sleep and even wanted to stay at your bed over night, if the Healers hadn't pushed me out the door…  
><em>_You looked happy to see me. I felt awful knowing I was about to inflict even more pain on you. Apparently you could see my inner turmoil._

_You asked, what was wrong.  
><em>_I told you we couldn't be together.  
><em>_You asked why.  
><em>_I told you about my lycanthropy.  
><em>_You said you didn't care about the risk.  
><em>_I told you I was too poor.  
><em>_You said you were an Auror and made enough money for both of us.  
><em>_I told you I was too old.  
><em>_You said age was just a state of mind.  
>You said you, young as you might be, were old enough to choose for yourself who you wanted to be with.<em>

_You said you had chosen me._

_You can't imagine, what those words meant to me. Desire and doubt were racing in my mind. Believe me, my feelings were strong and true, but my latest transformation was fresh and sharp in my mind, reminding me that I had to stay away from you. I had to protect you, keep you safe, even if it meant sacrificing my only chance for happiness.  
><em>_I told you, maybe a little brutally, that I didn't want to be with you. I'd never told a bigger lie before. I could see that you didn't believe me. There was a fire blazing behind your eyes, strong with love.  
><em>_I went on, forcing the untrue words to leave my lips. I told you, that I had lost interest. I said I'd moved on. I lied straight into your beautiful face for several minutes, each lie hurting you, making me feel horrible about myself. I could see the fire in your eyes dying; doubt was growing in your face, you hair was slowly turning brown, the turquoise was disappearing.  
><em>_You believed me. It hurt me to imagine, that you still questioned my feelings, let me convince you, but I didn't matter. All that mattered was your safety._

_When I fell silent you were glaring at me. Doubt and hurt mingling on your face, I hated myself for doing this to you. 'You're lying', you accused me in a whisper. You were trembling with suppressed emotions, crushing the paper in your fists, but your voice was steady. 'You're lying to me and to yourself!' you had said quietly. But I could see that you were just trying to reassure yourself, still hoping, that I was making a bad joke. But I wasn't. I never encountered a moment less funny than this one.  
><em>_I simply said 'Take care' and left. I could feel your eyes on my back but did not turn, not wanting you to see the tears in mine._

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><p>Hope you liked this chapter it's probably my personal favorite.<br>Please review and help me improve!


	5. The letter Part 4

_Time seemed to move slower from that moment on. I had little contact with anyone that autumn. I was mainly underground, working with werewolves on Dumbledore's orders, spying, living like an animal. During that time I met him again. Greyback. Long ago I felt sorry for him, knowing the feeling of losing control, knowing the pain coming with the transformation. When I learned about his view on the world I felt nothing more than disgust thinking about him. Now, knowing that this is his fault, knowing he was the one keeping me from you, it took all I had to not jump at him. But I had to stay low, not raise attention.  
><em>_Full moons came and went and I was miserable, trying to avoid thinking about you. It hurt too much._

_Christmas was the first time I really met anyone again that year.  
><em>_The Weasleys had invited me, and we were having lunch together, when Fleur suddenly mentioned you. Again I felt that piercing pain at the sound of your name.  
><em>_Molly told me you were spending Christmas alone, she was downright glaring at me. If she tried to make me feel bad, she managed. I loathed myself, knowing that you were miserable because of me. And then Harry made me feel even worse by telling me, that your Patronus had changed form. I knew this happened only under special circumstances, such as shocks… or emotional traumas… I hated myself._

_Before I could leave Molly had cornered me. I couldn't tell, whether she wanted to hug or strangle me. She looked both understanding and completely outraged.  
><em>_She told me, she could comprehend my reasons, but not my actions. She told me everything you had told her, every tiny detail about your depression, every single visit of yours, every tear that had fallen from your eyes onto her kitchen table.  
><em>_I couldn't take it anymore. I left the Burrow in a hurry, not saying good bye to anyone, just wanting to escape the guilt._

_New Years Eve came and I missed you.  
><em>_I returned to the Underground and I missed you.  
><em>_The other Werewolves hated the world and I hated myself._

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><p>Short one again... Review! Thank you :)<p> 


	6. The letter Part 5

_Several, uneventful, but self-hatred-filled months later, I got a letter from Dumbledore. He asked me to come to Hogsmead to provide further protection to the school.  
><em>_I wasn't sad to leave the underground and the company of the other werewolves…  
><em>_But I was wary… I knew you'd been assigned to Hogsmead as well. I didn't want to run into you. I didn't know what to say if I did. Also I thought seeing you would make me feel even worse, no matter what state you were in.  
><em>_If you were still depressed I'd feel horrible about myself, knowing it was my fault.  
><em>_If you were reasonably happy, what I hoped for your sake, I would feel horrible, knowing it was because you've gotten over me and didn't want me anymore.  
><em>_I couldn't bear that thought.  
><em>_So I avoided you._

_Then, of course, came that night in June.  
><em>_Dumbledore was about to leave the school again and all available Order members were recruited to the school…  
><em>_We both know what happened that night. How we were ambushed by the Death Eaters. Spells flying everywhere, the ceiling collapsing… I could hardly concentrate on my own duels; I was worried about you…  
><em>_Then the fighting stopped and Minerva ordered everyone involved to the Hospital-Wing. That's when we saw Bill lying in that bed, his face ripped and slashed so much, you wouldn't have recognised him if it wasn't for his Weasley-hair.  
><em>_And I realized yet again, that I was too dangerous for you. I shuddered at the thought of seeing you there; horrified by the thought it could've been my claws ripping your face, my teeth sinking into your body…  
><em>_Of course Ron and Ginny turned to me with their questions, but I couldn't answer them, I didn't know…  
><em>_I, like Ron had the hope that Dumbledore could fix Bill. I had that hope, for his sake, until Ginny announced the news. Dumbledore was dead._

_Every tiny piece of hope that I had had, concerning Bill, concerning the war, concerning you, was destroyed by those three words from Ginny. I lost it. I couldn't imagine how we'd ever get out of it. I lost hope; I lost confidence in our case._

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><p>I hated writing about Bill or Dumbledore being dead... but we all have to go through this...<br>Please review!


	7. The letter Part 6

Before you read the next chapter, I just wanted to say thank you.  
>This is my first ever fan-fic and I already got loads of praise for it. You can't believe how awesome it felt when someone added me and my story to their favorites! :) Thank you so much!<p>

Special thanks goes to "around the r i v e r b e n d", who gave me really helpful reviews, I hope I improved!

Another special thanks goes to "weirdgiraffe", yes, I like my pen-name too ;D

So now, enjoy the 7th chapter of my story.

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><p><em><em>_And then Fawkes began to sing. It was the first time I had heard a phoenix sing. The song was beautiful. It seemed to express everything I was feeling, the grief about Dumbledore, the worry about Bill, my feelings about you…  
><em>_A little hope grew inside me. It couldn't be over. We could still fight; we could still go on and do our best, at least in war. Concerning the matter of love I didn't feel so hopeful.  
><em>_I was sure, after seeing Bill you would've recognised the danger at last. I was sure you had finally seen sense and decided to stay away from me.  
><em>_But of course I was wrong._

_As we watched Molly and Fleur crying in each other's arms you turned furiously on me. Gesturing to Fleur you said that she didn't care that her love had been bitten. And that you didn't care either. I stiffened at that. I couldn't believe my ears. I told you our cases were different, Bill wouldn't be the same as me. I named the same reasons I had argued with back at St. Mungos.  
><em>_Molly talked them down, of course she did. I told them you deserved someone better, someone young and whole. But Arthur interjected and said you wanted me. I knew that, but I couldn't let it happen…  
><em>_I tried to avoid their gaze and that topic, saying it wasn't exactly the time to discuss something like that, what with Dumbledore having died.  
><em>_But of course someone knew how to rebut that argument as well…  
><em>

_Harry and Minerva left then and all the remaining people were either looking at Bill or staring at me. I avoided their eyes, staring at the floor. I could feel your gaze on me, but didn't look up, my eyes fixed on the floor in front of me.  
><em>_Then I heard a sob and the sound of the doors opening, glancing up I could just see the corner of your cloak whipping around the door and you were gone.  
><em>_A new wave of self-hatred hit me, forcefully supported by Molly.  
><em>_Everybody turned to stare when she started yelling:  
><em>_She asked me if I had lost my mind, what had gotten into me to break your heart like that in front of everybody. She yelled on, asking if I had wanted to squish every last bit of will to live out of you. And then her voice was suddenly quiet and ice cold. She said that I probably had succeeded._

_I started, she couldn't possibly mean that. Looking up uncertainly I saw that her face was lined with worry. Arthur was staring at the door, obviously thinking hard, concern edged on his face. My mind was racing. They seemed to think, that I had pushed you over the edge, that you were about to do something stupid.  
><em>_Shocked, I started to move. I just wanted to keep you safe. That's all I ever wanted. But the looks on their faces made me fear that I had failed, that I had just put you in danger.  
><em>_So I ran, out the Hospital Wing, through the familiar corridors and down the Marble Staircase. I knew I didn't stand a chance to catch up with you, before you'd leave the grounds, but it didn't matter. I knew where you'd go now. I reached the gates and without catching my breath I turned on the spot into nothingness._

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><p>Yes, a suicidal Tonks... a bit melodramatic, but what the heck ^^<p>

Thanks for reading and don't forget: Review, or Greyback will come to get your children!


	8. The letter Part 7

Sorry for keeping you waiting :) Here comes chapter 8!

Inspired by "Please don't stop the rain" by James Morrison, "Apologize" by One Republic and, last but not least this brilliant piece of fan-art: .com/?q=Tonks%20and%20Remus&order=9&offset=48#/dyc1ll

Enjoy!

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><p><em>The crack caused by my apparition was drowned by the thunderstorm raging around me as I reappeared. Rain was pouring down from the black sky, looking up I saw mountains of menacingly swirling clouds. The sky <em>_seemed to represent my thoughts at that moment.  
><em>_I remember every detail of that night. The good and the bad…  
><em>_I had splashed through the muddy lane towards the small house you lived in. I was drenched at the time I reached the back door. Banging my fist on it I yelled for you to let me in. __But you didn't. I stood there for several minutes, waiting, giving you some time to collect yourself. Then I tapped the door with my wand and it swung open.  
><em>_Quietly I stepped into your house, looking around. I was standing in a small kitchen, next to the cold fireplace. My eyes swept the room, when they fell on you. You were sitting with your back to me at the table. Your knees pulled up to your chin, your face hidden beneath your wet brown hair.  
><em>_Your shoulders were trembling with sobs. I stretched out my hand, wanting to comfort, console you, but I hesitated. Inches from your shoulder I pulled my hand back, not knowing what to do. Standing there, staring at you, I wondered if you had even realized my presence.  
><em>_I didn't want to scare you, trying to guess your reactions to possible actions I could take, uncertain what would be the best way.  
><em>_Finally I decided to make you a cup of chocolate. My mother always did this when I was down, so at least once a month in my childhood. It had always helped. So I started to move through your kitchen in silence. Getting a cup and a pot… I knew you were watching now, but didn't turn to face you.  
><em>_A few minutes later I put the cup down on the table in front of you and backed away, still waiting and watching you. At first you didn't move, so I kept waiting.  
><em>_I don't know how long it took you to move your hand those few inches to the cup, but at last you did it, and I thought it was save to speak now._

_I told you I was sorry.  
><em>_You didn't reply.  
><em>_I told you I just wanted to keep you safe.  
><em>_You still didn't say anything.  
><em>_I fell silent again, thinking. Finally I said the only thing I ever wanted to tell you._

'_I love you.'_

_Your head snapped up.  
><em>_You were glaring at me. Disbelieve and disgust edged on your face. It hurt so much to have you looking at me like that, I averted my eyes again.  
><em>_I knew I was too late. I knew I had pushed you away for too long. I knew I had broken your heart too often. I knew I had missed my chance.  
><em>_Disheartened I started to move to the door, but when I passed you, you suddenly reached out and grabbed my wrist. I froze.  
><em>'_Don't go.' You had whispered in a timid voice, so unlike your own, you said you didn't want to be alone that night. I had sighed and kneeled down in front of you, trying to look into your face. But again you had hidden behind your knees and hair.  
><em>_Gently I had stroked your hair back, pushing it behind your ear. I suppressed another sigh; I missed the bright pink so much. I lifted your chin up, looking you directly in the eyes for the first time in months. With another pang of guilt I noticed that the usual twinkling was gone; your eyes were cold and absent. __I wondered if I would ever see that smiling, carefree, young woman again. You had changed so much this past year. You had grown up, matured. You had been through so much pain and grief, just because of me.  
><em>_But there was something good about the whole thing. It showed me, just how much you loved me.  
><em>_And against all better judgement I pulled your lips to mine. I knew it was wrong, but I just couldn't stand seeing you like this, nor could I stand staying away from you any longer. I breathed in that sweet smell of yours, tasted the remnants of the chocolate on your tongue and then we were suddenly falling. You had thrown yourself into the kiss with so much enthusiasm that I had lost balance and keeled over backwards, with you on top of me._

_I groped for my wand and with a flick of it, the curtains closed._

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><p>Let's give them some privacy now, shall we?<p>

Don't forget to review! And thanks again for all the kind words :)


	9. The letter Part 8

Short chapter ahead... but nevertheless it was hard for me to write, since I don't have any experiences with awkward-morning-after-situations... Hope I managed a believable one ;)

Enjoy!

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><p><em>When I woke up the next morning, feeling the cool kitchen-floor beneath me, I was confused. Still half asleep, questions started to form in my head: Why was I lying on the floor? Where was this floor? How had I gotten to this floor?… and why was I naked?<br>__Frowning slightly I tried to answer those questions in my mind, when I suddenly felt something move beside me and my eyes snapped open. Reflexively my hand half-way shot to my wand, lying close by, when I realized it was you. Having a smile playing around your lips, you rolled over and snuggled into me. More confused still, I dropped my hand and stared at you. You were fast asleep, but your thin arms tightened around my chest and you sighed happily._

_That little content sound of yours triggered a flashback of the last night and an avalanche of memories hit me. Picture after picture, sensation after sensation flooded back into my mind. The sound of your voice, the tenderness of your fingers, the rainbow of colors your hair had gone through, the feeling of your breath on my skin, it all came back to me within one second. I felt slightly dizzy, remembering this much in such a short time. Staring at the stone ceiling, I ran through the whole night a second time in my head, trying to recall all the details._

_Looking down again, seeing you so peaceful and obviously content, no frown of deep thought, no line of worry crossing your face for once, I couldn't help but being happy myself. It was the first time in months that I had smiled. The way you lay there, across my chest, hugging me tightly as if afraid I would run away if you let go, you were, without a doubt the most beautiful thing I had ever come across in my whole life. Gently I had put my arms around you and pulled you closer, burying my face in your soft, deep-blue curls. Several blissful minutes passed, and then your hair started to change. It went from midnight-blue, to purple, to a bright, whitish blond, the curls smoothened, and I knew you weren't sleeping anymore.  
><em>_Tenderly I had stroked your back and caressed your arms, letting you know that I was awake too. You had moved your head a little, looking up at me through your lashes and I remember the smile that had spread across my face when I saw, that the light had reappeared in your deep, beautiful eyes. A faint blush covering your cheeks, you shyly smiled up to me, not knowing what to say. Neither did I, so I simply pulled you closer, not wanting to let go of you ever again._

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><p>Thanks for reading :)<p>

Review, or Draco drowns a litter of Dobbys young (If you don't get this joke go and watch "A very Potter Musical" and "A very Potter Sequel" on youtube").


	10. The letter Part 9

Sorry for keeping you waiting so long... I suffered SEVERELY from writers-block... *Sigh* Also it's like really hot here, so it's hard to think... AND I've been checking my Inbox about a thousand times lately... still waiting for my Pottermore Welcome-Email here...

So just in case you forgot what happened last time... : Quinn and Rachel got into a bitch-fight over Finn. Artie broke up with Tina and is now with Britney. Sue and Mr. Schuester agreed to cooperate for once (weird, I know) and Kurt finally met someone who has potential to be his boyfriend. and that's what you missed on Glee!

tehehehe, couldn't help myself ^^ sorry!

Enjoy!

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><p><em>We lay there for about half an hour: Half an hour of blissful ignorance of the world, just us in our happy little bubble, when reality caught up with us in form of an owl, pecking on your window.<br>__You had groaned, I had rolled my eyes, but that wouldn't solve our problem, so you had gotten to your feet, thrown my cloak around your shoulders and opened the window. The barn owl had soared in, dropped a letter on the floor and swooped out again.  
><em>_I remember that we were both staring at the letter for several minutes. We recognized the emerald ink and the handwriting instantly. It came from Minerva. The other events that had taken place the night before caught up with us.  
><em>_Crammed on a small piece of parchment were hasty words of thanks for your help the night before and the date of the funeral. I was sure an identical letter would be waiting for me at my place.  
><em>_I never got to verify my assumption, since you wouldn't let me leave that day, or the next. I wasn't sorry about that though. Being in your company was the best distraction I could've asked for. Not once in the three days between that night and Dumbledore's funeral did I really think about his death. It seemed like a triviality, it just slipped into the background of my thoughts. You, being there, warm and soft in my arms was the only thing that really mattered.  
><em>_But of course the funeral brought it all back to the foreground of my mind. My thoughts went down into a devastating spiral of pain, fear, sorrow and doubt on that day. The only thing that kept me sane was your hand in mine._

_Each time I was close to losing it, I felt you move next to me, or caught sight of your pink hair and calmed down again. Simply by being there next to me you managed to show me that there was a reason to go on, something to fight for.  
><em>_Each time a dark thought entered my mind it was pushed back by a memory involving you, soothing the pain in my soul.  
><em>_Each time I looked over at you during the ceremony, your eyes were fixed on the white table in the front, not once on that day did I see a tear on your face. Your strength was admirable and it helped me to get through the whole ordeal.  
><em>_Every single one of those little things seemed to make the next step I had to take clearer in my mind._

_Ignoring the fact that it was wrong, twisted, selfish and what not, I decided to return to the room I had lived in at that time and fetch the small, midnight-blue, velvet box that had been hibernating in my suitcase since my mother gave it to me. I never intended to retrieve it from the bottom of my trunk. I never even considered the possibility, that there might someday be someone I'd retrieve it for. But even in my darkest, most desperate hours of need I couldn't bear the thought of selling the thin, silver ring that was my mother's silent reminder that everyone had the potential for happiness._

* * *

><p>That's all for today.<p>

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